Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Withdrawing into Lent

On the eve of Lent, I am struggling with many worries. One adult child whose mental state is once again pretty bad, elderly parents struggling with my dad's dementia, job worries, etc.

I will be trying to limit my time on the internet, and trying to find more quiet time for prayer and reflection. I have to give all this worry over to God, or it will consume me. All day I have been longing to turn the corner and enter Lent...my life has felt off balance and unstructured for the past few weeks. I have been fighting a minor bout of depression myself, and it sapped my energy and will. I see Lent as my chance at healing, but I understand that it may mean opening up some old wounds so that things can heal aright.

If you read this post, please spare me a prayer during this Lent.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I have been struggling to lose some extra pounds that I gained over the holidays. Struggling and failing. On Sunday morning, I was musing that I really need to focus and deal with my tendency to gluttony, because Lent should be arriving soon, and I will not be able to keep any discipline around eating, fasting, or abstaining in my current state. Lo and behold, when I went to set up my Missal for Mass, it was Septuagesima. The Church was right there, with the right messages to help me turn my thoughts toward Lent. Thanks be to God.

A good Lent takes careful planning. I struggle to keep every Lenten vow I make, it is never easy for me. I think I will be including less time online and more time taking care of my household. So blogging will be light to nonexistent during Lent. And I will have to give up reading some blogs as well. But I think this is a good thing to include in Lent this year.

Gluttony and slothfulness, good things for me to ask for God's help in conquering this Lent. To stop using food as an emotional crutch, and instead put my worries in God's care. To stop thinking everything else is more important than restoring order to my home, to rise a little earlier and take small steps each day to get it under control. Maybe part of my sin in this area is pride, thinking that the things the world praises me for are more important than the hidden and unnoticed everyday tasks. There is a lot to ponder here.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sometimes a video is more than what it seems. When I saw this today, I felt like it was a representation of what is happening in the universal Church now, this quiet and joyful reclaiming of authentic Catholic worship and culture. It was so much more than just a how-to video of how to prepare a modern altar for ad orientam.